How to steal a painting from a famous museum – or how much fun I had at Ironman GNCC

First check out the place. I mean, visit the museum. Take lots of pictures with a special spy kinda photo thing that is built into your custom Oakley glasses. Then accidently go through the metal detectors with like a butter knife and a jar of peanut butter. You know, you are testing the detectors and you want to see the behind the wall room with the one way mirrors. Practice scuba diving, because there is probably going to be a need to be able to submerge and leave the city with the pictures in a sealed container so they do not get ruined in the water.

But, before you decide to do it, rent the Italian Job. That movie will tell you not to go to a bridge high in the mountains in the Czech Republic. Also rent Oceans 12, because you are going to need to be able to get through a Lazer Field like this. Watch this below, and you will see what I mean.

You are going to have to go in through the sewers so be prepared. There are various other things you should be prepared for. 1. You will need a guy with a Nixon mask, and not that crazy Bush mask that Eddie Vedder used to wear. 2. Get a dog with a back pack and teach him to jump up on high things. 3. Don’t step on the guy laid out on the ground like the Davinci painting. 4. When you have to go out through the bathroom window and can only speak french, do not be alarmed, make your way onto the boat to Hong Kong and smash all the terracata soldiers and be careful when you fall from the hot air balloon.

Or, you can skip all that. Prep some goggles, build up your bike nice so that you can shred it, and go to Crawfordsville Indiana (look back at previous posts, and you will see that Indiana truly is where races happen) on the last weekend in October and ride that race. Do not go to a wedding, do not do a dumb local race. There really isn’t a better race, you will not be disappointed.

Scott and I left LM early Saturday morning. We wanted to get down in time to try the demo on new KTM motorcycles. Unfortunately, when we got there it was just too muddy for them to run the demo. In fact, it was too muddy for most everything. It was Quag that you just have not seen before. I am talking quicksand mud that will suck whole VW Jetta’s in a spit them out later. I do not know how to refer to the mire. We parked in a dry grassy field and just rode bikes over to try to demo. Alas, it was not to be.

We did have a Quiznos sandwich from the artists there at Quiznos, but it took way too long and Champaign is not really that great of a city. Not bad, but entirely not full enough of roller coasters. I only want to move to a new place if it has lots of roller coasters. But all was not lost. We picked up Chris Bach at the course and then went to the super duper Creekside Lodge. It was kinda lodgey and it was right next to the creek, so I do not know why some would term them left handed. It was fun, but alas still no demo.

So I ended up in the hotel room.

Eating Ice Cream

Prepped Goggles!

And thanked god, that I do not race a quad.

;

;

This years race was the 7th time Scott and I have come to the Ironman. 7 times, wow. I didn’t ride a 7 of those, nor did Scott, but we have been there for the last 7. We saw Juha win, we saw David Knight win, we saw Nathan Kanney win. Or, we should say we got passed by those guys when they went on to win.

This year was probably the muddiest issue of the race yet. The ground was like pudding. It made the race super hard. Your bike was stupid heavy by the end and the soft ground just sucked all the energy out of you.

I kinda sucked today. I have had way better races of late. This was an off day. Oh well. There will be more races and an 8th Ironman next year. I will for sure be back. Scott had a pretty good race though.

Of course since Ironman is the gateway to the south and the stoop of the redneck south. There are tons of rednecks and quads and pickups just covered in mud. I think the mud flees just wait for this race so they can wear their Carhardt clothes and mud boots. They want to stand in the river and wait for people to struggle. Big fun.

20121021-201844.jpg The chaos that is the parking lot at Ironman.[/caption]

20121021-202218.jpg This is what your truck looks like if your a mud flee and do donuts in the field.[/caption]

P

20121021-202603.jpg I’ve had better raced in Indiana. But, I finished and only partly sucked.[/caption]

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